I want to marry a gay man
I’m a Straight Girl Who Married a Gay Man
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Dear Prudence,
I met my husband 13 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. We fell deeply, madly in love with each other and contain been married for nine wonderful years now. He’s patient, kind, gentle-hearted. He’s also always been honest about creature gay and has never hidden it from me. Only one of our mutual friends knows this about my husband. Our son also knows, since we thought it would be finest to remain expose with him about it, so he never “found out” by surprise or from our reciprocal friend. Our son took the news very well and doesn’t care that his father was gay.
I’ve never told my family, or really any of my friends, as I think they’d all be judgmental. My siblings don’t like my husband, but that’s a different letter
My Husband’s Not Gay, a show on TLC, has caused an uproar. The negative attention is unfortunate because this could possess been a show that highlighted mixed-orientation couples and how these couples can actually make their relationships work.
Why do some people become so outspoken and judgmental about marriages with one straight and one gay spouse? There are several reasons. These marriages raise concerns about infidelity. They bring out people’s judgments about what marriage should or should not be. In particular, they bring out people’s opinions about monogamy.
Finally, these relationships suggest to some people “reparative therapy,” the unethical and impossible claim that a person can be changed from gay to straight. The men in this television program aren’t claiming to be ex-gay nor that they can change their sexual orientation (at least not on the show). They record they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay man and their straight wives accept this.
People seem to get up in arms when a man says he is not gay but rather simply attracted to men. In our cultu
An Introduction
My client sat in the chair looking down at the floor, glancing up briefly to make eye contact, then darting his eyes back to the carpet. He spoke quietly, as if almost afraid to be heard. He clutched his hands throughout the session, displaying all the markers of an anxious man in the throes of shame. He was a recent client to my practice: a married, middle-aged, suburban dad with a high-powered career. A colleague had given him my number months before. It took him a long time to muster the courage to call and make an appointment. Towards the end of our first session he looked up at me and said, “I think I’m in love…with another man. I’m scared and I don’t perceive what to do.”
I have worked with hundreds of gay men in heterosexual marriages struggling with being in the closet or wanting to emerge from it. There is so much about these men that is misunderstood and very few studies or little literature to provide intuition. I decided to share my thoughts and research about these men and their struggles at a conference a few years ago. That presentation led to other oppor
I recently spoke with Bonnie Kaye, author of Direct Wives, Shattered Lives: Stories of Women with Same-sex attracted Husbands, among other books, and host of Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wives Speak Show on BlogTalkRadio. Bonnie has spent much of her adult life first living with and attempting to love a male lover husband and then helping other women in the same mis-marriage situation. (“Mis-marriage” is Bonnie’s term for “mistake in marriage.” Other people sometimes refer to these relationships using the term “mixed marriage.”)
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Because I know countless same-sex attracted men who were once married to straight women, with varying degrees of short and longer-term happiness and misery, I wanted to discuss this topic, and I wanted to do so from the straight wives’ perspective. Who better to speak with about this than Bonnie Kaye? Our discussion was wide-ranging, beginning with her own marriage to a gay man and advancing to how she was able to move on post-marriage, eventually becoming a rock for other women in similar situations.
In this post, I have presented part one of this discussion, the st